Hot and Cold

Yo
Day was off to the crappiest start,me wishing I hadnt left the comforts of my bed this morning.
First Manya wakes up late and so doesnt have time to make tea.I volunteer only to discover that the milk is gone bad.I rush to school in Bhosus car (with 5 others BTW) and head straight to the coffee room, But I am way too early.Our Sec hasnt even turned up yet so no coffee.Yeack....
I go to my chair asking for his sign and hes not in Office.Everyones gone for the Dalai Lama lecture.I spend 20 mnts contemplating before I go to the UP to gather docs for my OPT.Turns out the money order machine is screwed up.Thats pretty much in keeping with the theme of the day I guess.But 2 hours into my day I am not done yet.The photo office tells me that they dont have anyone to take my photos (Then what for did they open up at all ?) I curse under my breath, mutter a few "chailas" and head to my campus job where the final news strikes.Peter hasnt still installed Sci-Finder on my machine.Yeaowwwwww.....
But the day does end much better.Ganpati wisarjan goes pretty well, everyone turns up on time and I am saved the trouble of cookinf for my roomies when Kamal bring Chole for 20 folks.His math went pretty wrong actually.7 wiped out the stuff meant for ~20. Haha

Bade Bhaiyya ki Shaadi hai

Yo

After the stream of not-so-great-news over the past few months, a reason for me to smile about.A big one in fact. Big bro is about to get engaged and that alone has done enough to elevate my mood up a few notches.

Unfortunately, I will miss the engagement ceremony scheduled for 15th.What I shall miss the most apart from the actual ceremony is the food. :P.Just got the official menu today, enough to make me drool.Will I miss the shopping? Think not.Its no fun to walk on Lakshumi Rasta with bags in both hands and sun beating down on you.And haggling with those shopkeepers,Not my cup of tea!Though my mom does seem to enjoy this routine a great deal I suspect.What I would have enjoyed, no doubt, is the tradition of going to Vaishali after the shoppng rounds!Ahh...

Its funny this marriage thing.The rate at which my classmates are getting engaged/married makes me wonder whetehr I am a slow-mover or some sort of a dud.I mean I cant make peace with the fact that guys I have been fast friends with for like 10-12 years are about to get married.Esp in Atul's case.He and I have been together since ad infinitum.The only reason he managed to fall in love is because of me or a better way to put it is the "absence of me".So long as both of us were together none was hit by the love bug.Thats coz we did all those useless things that I suppose girls dont give a s*** about.Go to ARNOLD gym in the morning,go to School (Optional for him),come back, Play cricket,go and eat at the most unhygenic but tasty tapris in pune, sit on the bike in my "chaouk" or his and chat on nonsense topics.Go home for dinner and come back at Durga agin for a final cup of Coffee.But the moment came back to US from my India pilgrimage, this hapless soul must have been bored to death,so much so that he actually took up to jogging on the tekdi and BOOM!Then cupid strikes, he meets her parents,faces a few nervous/anxious/nail biting moments and a couple of months ago he tells me on MSN "I am in love".Hahah.....Straight from a masala film.

Adios

PS : Girls name is Smita.Shes a CA.Awesome.Her elder bro,settled in Kuwait is Sujit.Which Means now that I am Sujit Jr. for all official purposes.Kinda funny because I was already Tats Jr.!

A few good (wo)men : Godboles Version

Yo
I am not done yet.Atul godbole happens to be a langoti-yaar who shares the same obsession with the movie AFGM like I do.
Here is his version, the scene being set in software company!
Read on.This ones even better than mine!
NOTE : This is for fun purposes only.No offences intended !
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Khandu's trial :Khandu : what do u wanna discuss now? My favourite platform?
My lawyer : Khandu, your boss told you that the job was open foranybody?
Khandu : Yes
My lawyer : He didnt tell you that the job was only open togorgeous
good-looking girls?
Khandu : No
My lawyer : And you were clear about what your boss wanted?
Khandu: Crystal
My lawyer : Is there any chance you ignored your boss's order?
Khandu : Ignore the order?
My lawyer : Any chance you forgot about it?
Khandu : No
My lawyer : Any chance that you left your boss's office andsaid..THE OLD MAN IS WRONG!
Khandu : you ever worked as a programmer at a (female-deficient ) company such as xyz?
My lawyer : No
Khandu : You ever worked under tremendous deadlines ( with onlyguys all around you )?
My lawyer : No
Khandu : Run your code on another colleague's( male) computerand asked
HIM to run his code on yours?
My lawyer :No
Khandu : We folow orders. WE FOLLOW ORDERS or projects run late.Its that simple. Are we clear?
My lawyer : Yes
Khandu : ARE WE CLEAR?
My lawyer : Yes
My lawyer : Khandu, I have just one more question before I call fellow
programmers Agarwal and Chachre. If your boos gave you an orderthat the> > >job was open for anybody and you always follow ur boss's orders,then why was the job posting advertised as only for gorgeous girls?
Khandu ( stuttering ) : Umm...The job umm ...required gorgeousgirls
My lawyer : Thats not what you said...you said the boss orderedyou to> list
he job as open for anybody. Then why the discriminating posting...khandu??> > Khandu : Sometimes you have to use your own mind....
My lawyer : No...you made it clear just a moment ago that youalways> follow your boss' orders. You follow orders or projects run late.
Khandu :You %^&$&%&%&
My lawyer : Khandu....why the discriminating posting?
Khandu ( slient)
My lawyer : Khandu...you deliberately posted such a listing...didnt you...THE MOMENT YOU LEFT YOUR BOSS" OFFICE...YOU CUT YOURFANTASIES LOOSE....YOU IMAGINED YOURSELF SURROUNDED BY GORGEOUSGIRLS....YOU GAVE THE DISCRIMINATING JOB LISTING...DIDNT YOU? ......khandu..... Did u order that the job be only for good-looking girls
Khandu : I did what my desires forced me to do...
My lawyer : DID YOU ORDER that the job be only for good-looking girls
Khandu : You are goddamm right I did
My lawyer : Please the court, the general court should take a note of what Khandu just said i suggest that Khandu be arrested immediately.
Khandu : What is this...some kind of a joke?
Khandu ( angry ) to my laywer : I WILL KILL YOU. You messed withthe wrong programmer!!
Khandu ( somehwat calm ) : You have no idea what you did today.You just
weakened the IT industry


====================================
You cant handle the job!! We have a world that has companiesand those companies are run by girls with uhh long hair. Whos gonna havelong hair...you...You, Atul Godbole. Natani has a greatercandidature than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Khandu and you curse xyz,you have that luxury , you have the luxury of not knowing what I know,that xyz face though ugly and tormenting, xyz is still a girl and khandelwal's company while philandering and amorous to you, gives jobs. You dont want a girl becauwe deep down inside you get to seethem in theUS. Khandu needs girls on the jobs, khandu wants girls on thejobs. Khandu uses words like gorgeous, good looking, beautiful. He uses them as the backbone of the very life spend chasing girls, You use them as punchlines!! Khandu has neither the time, nor the inclination to explainhimself to a person who rises and sleeps thinking of a job that he providesand then questions the manner in which he provides . He'll rather youjust say Thank you and went on your way. Other wise I suggest you grow yourhair long and try for a job. Either way khandu doesnt give a damn what youthink your lawyer is gonna do. Are we clear???? Arrreee wee clear?????

A few Good men (Tats version)

Yo
Was just browsing through my inbox when I hit on this old email that I sent to my Miami egroup over an year ago.This was when I was under the influence of Col.Nathan R.Jessops fiery dialog delivery in a "A few good men".Along with AAA it is the only movie that I must have watched again and again and again and,,,,,,,

Heres a modified version of the court trial.
U wont appreciate this of course if you dont know the Original AFGM
A few references: Khare aka Sachin aka JAAD (for his enormous girth) is my roomie and Anyway here goes :
PS : Another version coming up soon.
================================================
The scene is between me and khare...who play tom cruise and Jack Nicholson respectivelyread and u will understand..
===================================================
Part 1 of 2

Now listen up punekars coz i really mean this when i say it.Theres nutin better,in mumbai.beleive me gmen,than a train that u have to catch in the morning.Try and Catch em on time coz I saythis is true,If u havent caught a local with one hand dangling inmid air and the other griiping the pole,then u have just let thebest in life pass u by. Ofcourse, your problem is that u are a Punekar living in Sadashiv Peth (no pun intended).You will have to do with just taking your sic Bajaj to school and work until theyelect to start some subway.
I am a fairman Tats but this criticism of mumbai locals is makingme abs crazy.U want to hear about mumbai locals.On the record I say that trains that trains run on time and provide excellentservice.Off the record i say that they run late,are crammed with people and very filthy.Now if some punekar happens to dislike them so be it.We like our trains as they are.You want to malign the mumbai locals... roll the dice and take your chance.I catch a local everyday running 300 yards dodging my way though thousands of people all capable of tripping me.So dont think for a moment that u can comedown here flash your new Bajaj at me and make me nervous.You see son,I can deal with the mumbai rains,the mumbai trains andthe mumbai riots,I dont want the bikes and I dont want rickshaws.What i do want is for you to stand there, on platform #2and with your puneri mouth extend me some ******* courtesy,You haveto ask me nicely!================================
Part 2 of 2

Tats says "I want the truth
"You cant handle the truth!! Son, We live in a world that has trainsand thosetrains are caughth by men with fast legs . Whos gonna runfast ?..you? (Pointing to Tats) ...You, Pappan?We Mumbaikars have a greater responsibility than youcan possibly fathom. You weep for Monty and you curse these trainscause you havethat luxury , you have the luxury of not knowing what I know,that mumbais trains though crowded and chaotic move poeple. Their existence while grotesque and incomprehensible to you movespeople.You dont like trains becauwe deep down inside you dont get to see them in Pune. mumbai needs these trains, Mumbai wants thesetrains. Tats uses words like filthy,crowded and running late. We use themas the backbone of the very life spend chasing locals, You use them as punchlines!! I have neither the time, nor the inclination to explainmyself to a person who travels daily from churchgate to Parle andback from parle to Churchgate in these locals and then questions the manner in which he is transported . I willrather you just say Thank you and went on your way. Other wise I suggest youbuy urself a new bajaj and go to office.Wither way I dont give a damn what u doAre we clear????Arrreee wee clear?????

Top 10 must do for a research group leader, A grads perspective

Yo
I have resigned myself to the fact that I am a hopelessly lazy blogger and from hence I will do my best to avoid starting a blog with the usual "Back after a long time ".Its Just that, starting that way makes me feel a whole lot better and serves as a way to get rid of that guilty feeling.

My advisor resigned from school.Leaving me it of an a bit of a spot.Its going to be a whole lot of fun for me in the coming months.Putting my thesis in shape,defending it and look for a job.Leaves me unbeleivably excited ,huh!Some karmic interventions might save me though and as the saying goes "Dont beleive in Miracles,RELY on them".Its frustrating to say the least.After 2 solid years spent in the US , I do not have a research effort that I might be proud of.

Lessons learnt.Or better still

"Top 10 things I would do if I were a professor in charge of a research group"

1.Be professional in all activities.Dont let personal and professional relationships mix.I can imagine chilling out with a beer or a cup of coffee once in a while but that about it.

2.Research must be focussed.One problem identified and the effort underway.Danging your fingers in many pies is bound to burn all.

3.What matters is scientific DATA , rest all is absolute bull shit.

4.Be independent, depending on others is a way of handicapping yourself.You can have collaborators all over the globe, but they are with you only so long as you keep your part of the deal.I mean even a novice would recognise that !

5.Strong leadership and control over the group is necessary.Exert your authority where required.

6.Leaving team meetings incomplete, coming late consistently for team meetings and missing team meetings w/o prior information - O boy I would absolutely blast that person.Thats putting it mildly.Or maybe Fire him.Absolutely.I mean are the rest of the team members Idiots to turn up on time ?

7.A team meeting means that Student talks, rest listen and then discuss what was said.This leads to constructive brain storming.No point, in discussing travel schedules, tele-confs in Japan and Germany and Honolulu.I mean who cares. The fancy worded emailing and teleconferencing are all worthless unless backed up by research data

8. Personally I prefer to work in the conventional timings.Come early in mornings and get out once you are done.I like to keep my evenings free for Tennis or V.ball. But as a leaderI would not go on harping about the importance of working on weekends. I would rather urge them to take at least a Sunday off and come at reasonable times.A 25 year, I would assume has enough maturity to decide what timings he needs to keep and what schedules he needs to pursue to keep up with his work.Some guys work better at nights! Accept it. Whast the big deal is asking evryone to be in School at 9-00 ?

9.I would try and get involved in research work myself !

10.I would follow 1-9.Doing that, I figure is normal for most academic folks around here.

PS : These views are developed from my genral understanding of the past 2 yrs in Univ.environment in US