Indian born confused desi ??

YoYo

Today is Lakshmi poojan. Its the most important day of the most important festival of the Hindu Calendar. I had known in advance, yet did nothing. No pooja, not even an attempt. Worryingly this is the second year in a row that this has hapenned. Same was the case with Dassera.One of my worst fears is about to come true. Am I beginning to lose the importance of these things ? Will with every passing year, things become progressively worse? If I stay in this country for any more length of time, would all these things might start meaning nothing but another date in the calendar for me?? Last year at least we has made some sweets to celebrate this ocassion. This year, none. Didnt even go to the local desi grocery store to get something readymade.Of course I made the India call to wish everyone, but thats as far as I went. I wonder if others are sharing my lack of enthusiasm ? Or is it just me ?

I noticed this even during my India visit, earlier in the year. I had just brushed it off, as my arrogance or maybe a heady feeling of being on cloud 9 after graduating from school, which I thought qualified me as a hero/stud of some sort. Everything seems a little annoying back home. No broadband, no electricity, no continous warm water, roads from hell and all of a sudden you are longing to head back to Miami. (when not in hurricane season of course !!) Not only this I could feel the slight disconnection between me and my relatives. Everyone is suddenly leading their own lives and I have no clue. Of course, in reality all of them are pretty much in touch with each other, celebrating festivals and being together on all possible ocassions. Its only me who is out of the loop and whats worse is that once you get used to it, you dont even seem to mind. But I do end up feeling like a f****** looser make that a capital L